STOOPID PURCHASES

I’ve had some interesting grocery shopping in the past week. Sounds pretty boring… but I swear only I could make going to the store a story.

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We begin at Petco. I needed to get Donner some better food. A few days ago, Darrin took his quad out to the desert to check his cows and he took Donner with him. She had a great run and was actually exhausted when she got home. Seriously, that means something. My dog is NEVER exhausted. Well, the next day, she couldn’t even get out of bed. She just laid there and looked at my like, “Ah, just take the kids to school.  I’ll just hang back here and lick myself.” So I went to Petco and asked the dog food gal what she recommended for an athletic dog that tends to get sore. She said Blue Wilderness for sure. Perfect. I threw a 24 pound bag in my cart. I also grabbed a $30 scratching post for my cats. As I was checking out, I realized I didn’t ask how much the dog food was but I figured my total bill would be around 50 bucks. So the clerk said, “That will be $93.” “93 DOLLARS???????? I screeched back? How much was that dog food?” “56 dollars, ma’am.” Now, in my head, the conversation continued this way. “What in the hell is in that stuff? Kobe beef? Hand picked organic carrots? Shark fin?????” Instead, out of my mouth came, “OK great, thank you!”

On to the next store. Smith’s grocery store. Now, for those of you who don’t live in Reno and watch me on the nightly news, I will tell you I’m the health reporter for my station. I take it seriously and live a healthy lifestyle to try to set an example. I honestly wear sunglasses and a hat, fake mustache if I could find one, whenever the kids talk me into going to McDonald’s. So imagine my horror when the kids and I were walking around Smiths and Eva eyed Twinkies a few isles down. She literally started running, as if racing in a 40 yard dash, screaming, “Mom…Mooooooom, they have Twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinkies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” OK, let me explain. When Hostess went belly up, I asked the kids if they’d ever had a 20130916-211126.jpgTwinkie. They said no and I lamented that fact they were probably the only America children who would never eat a Twinkie. Well, my kids are NOT ones to be left behind… for anything… even mashing their face with trans fat. So they begged me to buy a box before they vanished forever. However, all the way cooler moms gobbled them up and Ebay was my last resort. Hell no was I buying a Twinkie on Ebay for $32.50! Sorry kids. The Twinkie Fairy died with the rest of the 2009 economy.  Fast forward to this week and the old saying that Twinkies could outlive cockroaches in a nuclear attack proved true! From the ashes of the still recovering economy rose the Twinkie in all of its golden glory. So I bought a damn box. Eva ate two bites and said, “They’re just OK.  Like I really don’t get what all the fuss is about.” And after taking one bite, Domi started wiping his tongue with a paper towel muttering, “Why is my tongue coated with wax?????” After all that, the Twinkies ended up at my work where they were devoured in 3.4 seconds.

 

Finally, my last shopping snafu was actually online. I was flipping through Facebook and stopped at Julian Bakery. Paleo Bread it boasted! Sign me up! I cook soooo much living this Paleo lifestyle.  And if someone is going to bake me bread, I’m all for it. So I purchased a coconut and almond loaf. I entered my info, clicked make purchase and then the screening lit up saying “Thank you for your $30 purchase!” WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????? 30 DOLLARS FOR 2 LOAVES OF BREAD? HAVE I LOST MY FRIGGIN’ MIND? Apparently I have.

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So let’s recap. In one week, I spent $90 and brough home some dog food, a box of Twinkies and two loaves of bread. Lets just keep that between us.

 

 

 

CAKE DECORATING-PART 2

20130904-220953.jpgYesterday, I told you how I made Sally a cake for her 15th wedding anniversary party. Today, I’m going to tell you how I got said cake TO the party. That’s the story behind the story. The story where I cuss… a lot!

So I made this beautiful cake on a day that was 104 degrees outside. But I knew this! And I had a plan. The night before I was going to bake, I turned the swamp coolers in my house on high. I was going to make my house a gigantic refrigerator. Ok, are you laughing yet? Those of you who know how swamp coolers work are laughing your asses off aren’t you?? Come to find out, swamp coolers work really well, except when the temperatures get into the upper 90′s. I was dealing with 104!!!!!!!! They simply can’t keep up with the heat and so your house remains a steady 80-85 degrees. Not the 65 I was looking for. So as I was frosting the cake, I kept returning it to the freezer for a time SO IT WOULDN’T MELT!

My next challenge became how to get the three tiered cake to the party which was about a 15 minute drive up the Mt. Rose Highway. Not to worry! Again, I had a plan!! About 2 hours before we were to leave, I pulled my car out of the garage, rolled up all the windows and put the air conditioning on high. Now THIS was going to be an icebox. At this point, however, I should let you in on a little secret. My car is 13 years old. And apparently 13 year old cars don’t do too well sitting in 104 degree heat in the sun with the AC on full blast. I know this because moments after the entire family piled into the car to go to the party, Darrin says, “WOAH!!!!!!!! your car is overheating… I have to turn the heater on to try and bring down the temperature.” Now let me set the scene for you. I’m in the front seat holding the bottom cake. Eva is in the back middle holding the middle layer. Domi is sitting next to the window holding the top tier with the sun shining down on him through the car window.   The car wasn’t that cold to begin with and now the heater is going full blast. I’m screaming at Darrin to just drive and chance it, Eva is crying because her cake is starting to melt all over her polka dot dress and Domi is whining he’s now sweating sitting in the sun holding “this dumb cake that’s dripping all over my fingers!!!”

“Listen to me PEOPLE!!!!!! This is Sally’s cake and you aren’t going to move until the damn car cools down just enough to get us up that damn hill!!” And then we sat. And sat. And waited some more. Finally, the temperature gauge dropped enough Darrin thought we could chance it. We pulled out of the driveway, made it to the Mt. Rose Highway and about half way up, Darrin said, “Well, it’s overheating again.”  I screamed, “I don’t give a shit what the car is doing, my cake is melting all over the three of us.  If you don’t get us to that party, this is all our fault!!!!”    With that, he just clenched his teeth, like a good husband should, and barely got the car up the mountain and into the parking lot of the party.  I got out.  Put the cake on the table.  Made sure Sally saw it and the photographer got a picture of it… and I headed sraight to the champagne bar!

 

CAKE DECORATING

Sally and I have been friends since college. So when she called to ask me to make her an anniversary cake I gladly agreed. I was her maid of honor when she and Jason got married 15 years ago. This year, they were going to renew their vows. I thought a nice sheet cake, or maybe I’d get fancy and go for two round cakes stacked on top of each other. Easy! And then came the invitation. Invitation?? Why would she be sending out invitations to our group of friends. Wouldn’t a few phone calls get it done? A mass email maybe? Ok, go big… send an evite. But a paper invitation mailed by the U.S. postal service?  What kind of shin dig is this?? So I called.

“Hey Sal, got your invitation. It’s beautiful. We will of course be there. And by the way, how many people are you inviting?”

“Well, we have about 65 on the list.”

65?????????????? That’s no sheet cake party! “Ok, fun! I’ll talk to you later,” I said as I scrambled off the phone and into my kitchen.

Here’s some history. I love to decorate cakes. It’s my favorite hobby. It’s the only time I use the right side of my brain. I’ve done a battle ship for Domi.

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A Spanish mission inspired cake for Eva.

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And a Tangled cake for my God Daughter, Kate. (yes, that’s my mom’s hand holding the tower up… as you’re about to read, I’m vertically challenged when it comes to cakes!)

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But it’s always just for fun. For small groups… not parties with guests who received mailed invitations!

Sally’s original cake was two layers, square, with hydrangeas on it. So I decided to go three layers, round, with hydrangeas. Similar but different to represent how their lives had changed. I made the batter with my secret weapon. For the frosting, I used store bought buttercream but added coursely chopped Oreos to the bottom layer. The middle layer was chocolate frosting with fresh raspberries mixed in. And the top layer was a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.

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I wanted it to be elegant so I bought this Wiltons pre-decorated icing paper.

 This stuff is AMAZING! I lightly frosted the sides of the cakes and gently applied the pre cut sheets of icing. It worked exactly like it was supposed to!  I added some black ribbon along the bottom of each round as well.  I then bought a pillar from the floral department at Walmart. I stuck more than a dozen white roses into the green floral foam and then placed it in the middle of my bottom round cake. Now here’s where I went wrong. I had 5 cake support dowels I put around the flower pillar thinking this would hold my second level. It wasn’t sturdy enough. I have to figure this out better… maybe for Sally’s 20th anniversary.  For color, I bought an actual hydrangea plant because at the florist, a SINGLE FLOWER was $10. The plant, purchased at Smith’s Grocery Store, was $14 and came with 4 flowers. I used the purplish blue flowers as the cake topper for all three rounds.   And this was the final product:

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The third layer, which I didn’t dare put on top of the other two layers, was just for display.  Sally wanted that level to freeze for her year anniversary of her 15th anniversary party. Or more easily put, for her 16th wedding anniversary!  Happy anniversary Sally and Jason!

 

 

 

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DEALING WITH GRIEF

church imageAs we walked to the news set the other night, I asked Kristen, my friend and co-anchor, “Do you ever cry in church?”  She laughed and said, “I’ll text you the first time I don’t cry in church.”   That made me feel better because last Sunday I had an extemely emotional experience in church and I wanted to know if I was crazy. Kristen assured me I wasn’t.

Last weekend, I ended up kidless on Sunday morning and so took advantage by going to church by myself.  Going to church alone doesn’t bother me.  It’s not like flying solo to a movie.  That does bug me.  But when it comes to church, I actually prefer to go alone.  I didn’t go to my church.  But instead traveled up to Lake Tahoe to visit St. Francis of Assisi. 

In 2004, we baptised our daughter, Eva Diana, at St. Francis.  Since then, it’s always held a special place in my heart.   And now, sitting alone in my pew, I was once again happy to be here.  When Father Bill entered I immediately sat up straighter.  His presence didn’t make me nervous, but rather more alert… like a freshman on the first day of class.  I wanted to truly understand the lesson I was about to hear.  And learn I did.

He asked us all to allow the Holy Spirit into our souls so that we could forgive those who trouble us the most.  The Holy Spirit would guide us in allowing our feelings of ill will to be replaced with love and eventual peace.  And when he said, “We need the power to deal with those that cause us the most pain…” my eyes immediately filled with water.

On December 21st, 2011, my best friend died.  4 days before Christmas.  She would have survived past the new year, but my brother and I gave her permission to go to the other side… and she did… that night.   I thought I was ready. I thought it would be best for her to move on to the next world. But I was wrong.  Living without my mom causes me daily pain.

As I glanced at Father Bill, trying to hide the tears that were now streaming down my face in a river of emotion,  I was horrified to admit the one person causing me the most pain was the one person who would never do anything, ever, to hurt me… my mom.   She would be so sad to know I struggle at the feet of her demise.  But I do.  We are coming up on her two year anniversary of leaving us and I still feel like that lonely kid who was forgotten at school.  I keep looking for her to come around the corner to get me. 

So with a deep breath,  I closed my eyes to allow the Holy Spirit into my core.  I breathed deeply several times to allow the warmth of his being to enter my soul.  And I felt… nothing!  Dammit!  So I sat there some more and waited.  And waited.  By this time my tears were drying up because I was getting irritated.  Where was the Holy Spirit when I really needed it??  I left church feeling a tad disappointed.

On my 40 minute drive home, I looked at they sky, still pale grey with smoke from the fire burning near Yosemite.  I thought how my mom would have complained about all the smoke.  She hated anything but bright sunny days in Reno.  And that thought alone broke me again.  New tears followed the dried stains already on my cheeks.  And this time, I allowed myself to sob.  To release some of the water that filled my emotional bucket.  I allowed myself to be angry.  I allowed myself to climb right up on that pitty chair and have a party.  And then it happened.  As I slowly pulled down into Reno off the Mt. Rose Highway, my tears dried up.  My anger floated away from me.  And a sense of warmth filled my body.  A warmth like I’ve never felt.  A warm blanket enveloping my heart.  And finally… peace. 

The magical spell lasted until I pulled into my driveway.  The chaos of my kids, now back at home, dulled the sense of warmth inside me, but I knew it was still there.  I had released some of the pain of my mom’s death.  I have a long way to go to be out of daily pain, but moments like that, where you connect with the Holy Spirit make me realize I will someday get there.

(note:  My Holy Spirit is the Divine Trinity.  What’s yours?  Is it Mother Earth?  Is it your own belief that doesn’t have a name?  Whatever, or whoever, you pray to, I hope you find peace in your God like I do mine.) 

A book that opened my eyes to the Divine Trinity is called The Shack.  It’s a fictional story, a good read, but man does it have a thought provoking kick to it! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND it:

 

PALEO DINNER RECIPE-LASAGNA

I hear one thing a lot from people who are wary of the Paleo diet.   “What about my pasta??”  I get it!  I too used to carbo load a huge plate of spaghetti before every race I’ve ever done… and this goes back to 1976 when I started swimming.  Why anyone would need to carbo load for a 25 butterfly I have NO idea!  But back to my point about the fact we all love pasta.  And typical wheat pasta is a big no no in the paleo world.   So let me introduce you to this:

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Say hello to my friend Butternut Squash Lasagna.  I had to take pictures from the book Primal Cravings because everytime I’ve made this, we eat it before I can snap a shot of it.  IT’S THAT GOOD!  I’ve also made it with sweet potatoes instead of the squash.  Both are fabulous.  I do add a bit more cheese, but that’s just me.  This recipe alone is reason enough to buy Primal Cravings.  I have a direct link to it here:

 I hope you enjoy this recipe… and so many other healthy options in the book! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NICE BEAVER

Even the title of this post makes me laugh. And hang on, cause it gets better!

I came home the other night and was immediately told to sit down and shut my eyes. Ok, that makes me a tad nervous but I played along. So Eva, Domi and I sat on the couch with our heads covered with my jacket. Finally Darrin came into the room and said, “Surprise!” Well holy shit, this really was a surprise!! A huge stuffed beaver! It appeared to be swimming past a log.

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My San Francisco self screamed, “And What In The Hell Do You Plan on Doing With That Thing?”

“Mounting it on the wall of course,” Darrin said while looking at me like I was from Mars.

Ok, I’m not the alien in this situation. Who the hell has a BEAVER mounted on their WALL???? Apparently I do.

Let me take you back to the summer of 2007. Darrin lined the road into our house with trees. When he planted them they were smaller than our 2 and 3 year old.

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Now fastforward to 2012. The trees are more than 25 feet tall. They are gorgeous and the fruit of Darrin’s hard labor.

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That is until Darrin noticed all of them were being eaten alive. He assumed a beaver was gnawing on them because a beaver’s front teeth never stop growing so they have to file them down. Our trees were suddenly emory boards.

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So father and son went on a beaver hunt (did my San Francisco Self really just say that???).

One night, they took a flashlight and sat on the banks of the ditch that runs through our property and waited. It didn’t take long before a 60 pound mammal came swimming through a culvert and headed right for our trees. With one shot, Darrin and Domi had their beaver. (Note, we tried to trap the beaver several times.  It didn’t work.  This was truly our last resort)

Living on a ranch, Darrin buries animals when they die. So I just figured that’s what he had done with the beaver.  So now fastforward to the other night and imagine my surprise when there, in my family room, was a stuffed beaver.

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The kids wanted to name it.

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Donner went bananas trying to figure out if she should attack it.

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Max figured it was a new friend to rub up on.

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Even Cody, who’s rarely a part of my crazy family antics, made an appearance to see what all the commotion was about.

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Days later it was mounted on the wall. Now for the rest of our lives, my husband’s beaver will be on display for all to see.   20130822-210933.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 But you know me!  I’ve had a little fun with it as well.  Like when a couple we recently met came over and I grabbed the husband’s hand and asked, “Would you like to see my beaver?”

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PALEO RECIPES FOR KIDS

“Are we eating paleo AGAIN????” moaned my not-so-keen-on-caveman-eating kids.

“YES!!!” I sarcastically groaned back with my paleo-loving-hands-wrapped-around-Primal-Cravings-cookbook. “We are!!” And that’s when I flipped to page 112 and read CRISPY CHICKEN FINGERS. Oh thank Tarzan! I found a recipe the kids just might get excited about.20130820-205438.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is this happening in your house?? Am I the only strung out-working full time-trying to be healthy-exhausted from complaints mom out there?? Please tell me I’m not alone. And if you’re in my boat, albeit a somewhat sinking one, then let me shine some light on your next family dinner. These CRISPY CHICKEN FINGERS WERE AWESOME!!!!!!! The kids loved them. I loved them. Darrin loved them. In fact, we all fought over them the next day for lunch. The only changes I made to the recipe is I used sunflower oil instead of palm shortening to fry them. I’ve used palm shortening before and I thought it left too much of a greasy residue in my mouth. The sunflower oil was better.

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Also, I couln’t find tapioca FLOUR. So I used tapioca STARCH. Not sure if they’re the same thing or not, but until I can find that type of flour, the starch works just fine. I prepped the flour and egg wash in the morning and cut up the chicken. So when I got home from work that night, it was a pretty quick dinner to prepare. I usually get home around 7:20. We were eating before 8. That’s really good for us!

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Here’s how to order Primal Cravings.  Hope you enjoy it!

And next time I’ll share the recipe that makes this book an absolute must!

 

 

 

PALEO RECIPES-BREAKFAST

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Check this out! I received a preview copy of Primal Cravings by Megan McCullough Keatley and Brandon Keatley from the folks at Marks Daily Apple and Primal Blueprint Publishing Company. Apparently, I’ve arrived as a paleo blogger. I guess now I need to step it up with my paleo blogging! All these damn workouts and lung issues are getting in my way of fun stuff like writing about food!

I’ve had this book for about 4 weeks now and I’ve already tried many recipes. I’d like to share them with you all here, but I feel like that’s stealing. Kinda like when your 8th grade boyfriend made you a tape of Duran Duran’s Rio album. Of course we all took it, but really??… couldn’t we have just gone to Tower Records and paid the $8.99 to get our own? Simon, I’m so sorry! I totally pirated your goods! So because of my Catholic guilt (which apparently didn’t kick in until well after middle school) I won’t give you the recipes from Primal Cravings, BUT I WILL  give you my take on them!  Plus I truly believe we need to support these people!  Paleo cookbook authors are doing amazing work out there!!

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Let’s start with the Sausage and Eggs On the Go. These are PERFECT for my truck driver husband! He leaves the house at 3am during cattle hauling days. I really do try to make him breakfast before he heads out the door… but 3AM!!!!!!!! hell no! So these little nuggets of protein goodness are great for eating while trucking.

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Thanks to my friend, Lisa, for taking this picture below.  We ate all of ours before I could snap a shot of them cooked.  But aren’t they lovely in the raw too!!  (and is Lisa’s picture upside down??)

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Now here’s where you’ll get my take on things.  The recipe is pretty basic, for good reason.  I’m sure Megan and Brandon wanted to appeal to everyone.  But I spiced mine up a tidge.  I put some green onions, mushrooms and a flake of parmesan cheese in each one.  FABULOUS!  You could change up the additions each time you make them for a different flavor!  Here’s how lovely the picture is in the book… and….

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Here’s where you can buy a copy!  I really love this cookbook!  It’s a favorite goto for Paleo recipes! Click on the book to check it out!

DONNER LAKE HALF IRONMAN-THE RUN

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 I really must be trying to put this race behind me because I totally forgot in my bike leg race report to tell you how I screamed at a squirrel about to run right under my bike. I’m not sure who was more surprised. Me or the squirrel. Seriously, who screams at a rodent during a race?? Or how about the wild dog that decided to run out onto the bike course and nearly take out several racers going 40 miles an hour down a steep grade. Forgot about that too. Anyway, to get to the run leg, I’ll pick up at the very end of the bike course. My friend, Heidi, and I cruised down old Highway 40 and ended up back at the transition area to quickly put on our running shoes, hat and to see if my legs would actually hold me up. They did so I had to keep going.  Damn!  Keep in mind, I’ve now been racing for about 5 1/2 hours. As we left the transition, I told Heidi I had to pee, BADLY. She said, “Well, just go. That’s what triathletes do. We all do it. Just run and pee.” “WHAT?????????????” I replied. And then I started laughing, thinking how rediculous all us athletes truly are… and that was enough. I couldn’t hold it.  My giggles were like hammers pounding open the flood gates.  And so without actually making the decision to be a “true” triathlete and pee and run, I was forced into that elite crowd due to lack of bladder control. Problem was, I was still in the Donner Lake Park where lots of people where hanging around cheering us on!  Literally, dozens of people were clapping as we ran by.  I pulled my hat down low, praying no one would recognize me, and then prayed some more that my biking shorts would absorb the contents of my bladder.  And when I finally looked down… oh Lord!!  It was like a sprinkler was going off in my shorts!  Pee spraying every which way!  I was dying… both from embarrassement and from the fact it felt so good to be peeing! I now totally get why real triathletes do this!! It feels like stepping into a shower with clothes on… completely weird but exciting at the same time.   I’ve either totally lost it at this point, or this triathlon thing is definitely for me!  Fortunately, it was about 90 degrees so the entire mess dried before mile 3. The rest of the run leg was way less exciting. Literally, it was me talking to myself, forcing myself not to quit, playing mind games to keep one foot in front of the other and then at mile 12.5 I really wanted to give up. I had 5 minutes left in this 7 hour race and all I wanted to do was stop.  I tried to run faster, but literally I couldn’t.  And at mile 12.5, a 60 year old woman came up from behind me and said, “Come on!  Let’s finish this thing!”  And so she and I ran step for step the rest of the way into the finish line.  As I crossed, I was overcome with emotion.  I was about to break down sobbing when a friend of mine and her boyfriend came up and offered me a diet coke.  I choked down a few sips and was able to stop my flood of tears.  I didn’t know them well enough to sob in their arms so luckily I got control of my emotions.  Finally, I found Amy and Heidi.  We looked around at everyone at the finish line.  One guy was crawling on the ground moaning about how this race made him shit himself… twice.  Others were just shaking their head saying, “this is the hardest race they’ve ever done,”  and others were freaked out because they were doing this race as training for the Ironman Tahoe coming up on September 22.  It made me feel better that everyone else thought it was a tough race.  Because this race nearly broke me.  So Amy, after you read this, call me.   9 days later, and I’m just now able to laugh about it!!

 

 

 

 

DONNER LAKE HALF IRONMAN-THE BIKE

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In any triathlon I’ve done, the swim is always my strongest leg. I swam in college and have always maintained a pretty decent fitness level swimming. Well, you all know how my swim leg went… so that didn’t bode well for the rest of my race. After getting out of the lake at 38 minutes, I got on my bike and headed up old Highway 40. It’s 3 miles of straight up. It’s a grind, but I’ve done it before and so knew what to expect. At the top, I was preparing to just settle in and make sure I stayed on top of my nutrition. Nutrition was key for me in this race since I couldn’t really work out for 2 months leading up to it. I had to have good nutrition!! At the top of 40, I heard this weird “zip” followed by an odd “splat.” 2 minutes later, the same weird “zip” followed by an identical “splat.” WTH? So I look down and two of my Gus, which Lynn had painstakingly taped to my bike, had ripped off and splatted on the road. CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!! All I have in this race is nutrition!!! And now, of my 3 Gus taped to my bike, I’ve lost 2. I quickly grabbed the third one and stuffed it in my sports bra. That baby had to be safe. I also stuffed my bra with 2 of my homemade power bars (recipe for these nuggets of goodness to come as well… if I can convince my partner in the kitchen, Ken, to give up the recipe!). So now, instead of eating every 40 minutes, I was going to have to extend it to about every 1 hour and 10 minutes. Not ideal. After the big climb out of the lake, the ride went from Sugarbowl Ski Resort down to Cisco Grove, back up to Sugarbowl, back down to Cisco Grove and then back up to Sugarbowl and finally back down to the lake.  Total of 56 miles.  My first lap was actually pretty good. The downhills were super fun and the up hills were super challenging. But I was still in a good mood, so life was ok. The second loop,everything changed. The downhill seemed longer, the uphill seemed to never end. My mood went from jovial, talking to fellow racers, to pissed off asking myself why I would ever sign up for something like this, let alone pay good money to do it! Maybe it was because I had about 70% lung capacity, according to one of my doctors. Maybe it was because I hadn’t worked out in 60 days. Or maybe because it was simply a brutal course.  I don’t know why I hated this ride so much, but it doesn’t matter.  This ride was a bitch… and the last thing I wanted to do when I finally got off the bike after 3 hours and 50 minutes was go for a run… let alone a 13 mile run.  I’ll let you know how that half marathon went, tomorrow.