NOW THAT’S COVERAGE YOU CAN COUNT ON!

This is an actual conversation I had at work this week with a co-worker of mine.

Dani: Hey Wendy, can I have a condom?

Me (without batting an eyelash): No sorry, I’m out. But ask anyone in the newsroom. They all have some.

I swear only at the Deuce would you have a serious conversation like this. Ok, let me explain! Two weeks ago, Darrin and I went to a Christmas party at our friend’s house. It’s a tradition to bring a white elephant present. Everyone throws their gag gift into a pile and we have a present opening cocktail party that gets pretty funny. In fact, a few years ago I thought I was being funny by bringing a huge framed picture of myself. It was from my work. It actually hung in our lobby. It was my first chubby cheeked anchor picture circa 1996. That same picture keeps being regifted every year at this Christmas party. Weird. Over the years other gags representing my TV station have been added to the pile of presents. But this year, a guy named Mark took the cake!

Some poor guy picked from the pile a box about the size of a hat box. It was plainly wrapped. On the outside, it appeared boring. But when the unsuspecting guy opened it, hundreds of condoms came pouring out onto the carpet. And I leaped out of my chair. That’s because on each and every condom packet was a sticker of my TV station’s slogan: COVERAGE YOU CAN COUNT ON!

Ok, that is REALLY funny. But I started grabbing as many of them as possible, wondering if I could somehow get fired for these. But they were like jumping beans flying off my fingers and into everyone else’s clapping hands. It was quite the scene.

Fast forward to New Year’s Day and I come strolling into work, carrying a bag of condoms. It was like Christmas all over again. I was throwing them out like candy at a parade. They were a huge hit. So much so those who didn’t get one wanted one. And now you understand why Dani would casually ask me for a condom at work!