We went to Hawaii for spring break. You all know this. I took you on a tour of Kauai and showed you where to take your kids and where to go eat. What I didn’t show you is how much we ate! I failed to highlight pictures of BBQ’ed pizzas poolside, or the daily basket of fries we had as an appetizer to our appetizer at dinner. I did show you hula pie at Duke’s.
I didn’t show you all the other desserts we indulged in. And when I got home, I nearly froze when I strode past the mirror in my bathing suit. Woah! Are there no mirrors in Hawaii? How did I not know my body had plumped! My abs are hiding beneath a warm winter layer IN SPRING and my gluteal fold… look! 
It can hold a pencil. My ass could sign an autograph!! Hawaii sucks. I’m never going there again. Instead, I’m going to detox. Like how I say detox instead of diet. I don’t diet. I hate dieting. That means I can’t eat. I don’t believe in that route. I believe in changing my diet to eat healthier. That way I can still eat large amounts of food. The food just won’t be drizzled with chocolate! I’m going Paleo again. And tomorrow I’ll tell you why Paleo is right for us and why you might want to consider it as well. My ass and I are now going to bed.
