WORLD WAR 4 HAS BEEN DECLARED IN MY HOME

Yes, there was a World War 3.  It was waged about 3 years ago.  It had to do with getting the kids to sleep in their own rooms. Not beds… rooms! To fully understand you have to understand the shape of our house. It’s a U. The kids rooms are on the left side of the U. The bottom part is the living space; kitchen, family room, dining room, etc. And the right side of the U is the master bedroom… plus a nursery the kids used to sleep in when they were infants. So you can see how the kids would fight us on sleeping on their side of the U. It’s far away from Mom and Dad and it’s clearly where the boogie man resides. So finally, after 6 months of carrying the kids back to their rooms 2,3 sometimes 4 times a night… we surrendered. Twin beds were moved into the nursery and that’s where the kids still sleep to this day. World War 3 went to the kids. But now I’ve declared another one. And it has to do with my bathroom. I don’t mind them showering in my bathroom. God forbid they walk to their side of the house, where apparently the boogie man still lurks, and shower there. I really don’t even mind them leaving the towel on my floor. “Pick your battles, Wendy” is my daily mantra. But the toothpaste is where I draw the line!!! They wring its neck and leave it on the countertop without the cap. The toothpaste then dries out around the tip making the opening so small the paste comes out like a string of spaghetti instead of a nice fat ice blue log. AND THEN… most of the toothpaste ends up beneath the strangled neck of the tube making it impossible to get anymore out even though a 2 month supply still exists. So today I told my kids, “Look! There is a giant, black, hairy tarantula that now lives in the back of my toothpaste drawer and if you ever, EVER, open that drawer again, it will crawl up your arm and lay eggs in your ear that will continue to hatch for the next 5 years!”

Strangled Toothpaste

The kids just stared at me… their gaze going between my glare and the forbidden drawer. And then they turned and silently left the room. Ok fine! So I might have over parented that one just a touch. But this is war people! And I fully intend for World War 4 to go to the parents! Only I have to admit, I too am now a little afraid to open that drawer!